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The Book of Kenesis/Chapter Two
2:1 Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all their multitude. 2:2 And on the seventh day Kenny finished the work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all the work that he had done. 2:3 So Kenny blessed the seventh day and hallowed it, because on it Kenny rested from all the work that he had done in creation. 2:4 These are the generations of the heavens and the earth when they were created. In the day that the Kenny and his Stache made the earth and the heavens, 2:5 when no plant of the field was yet in the earth and no herb of the field had yet sprung up - for the Kenny and his Stache had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was no one to till the ground; 2:6 but a stream would rise from the earth, and water the whole face of the ground - 2:7 then the Kenny and his Stache formed man from the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and the man became a living being. 2:8 And the Kenny and his Stache planted a garden in Eden, in the east; and there he put the man whom he had formed. 2:9 Out of the ground the Kenny and his Stache made to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food, the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 2:10 A river flows out of Eden to water the garden, and from there it divides and becomes four branches. 2:11 The name of the first is the big river; it is the one that flows around the whole land of Savannah, where there is no zombies yet, just Crawford; 2:12 and the supplies of that land are good; potato chips and canned beans are there. 2:13 The name of the second river is a fuckton of zombies; it is the one that flows around the whole land of Makon. 2:14 The name of the third river is The River of Stachiness, which flows east of Hershel's Farm. And the fourth river is the Kennyland Waterslide. 2:15 The Kenny and his Stache took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to till it and keep it. 2:16 And the LORD Kenny commanded the man, "You may freely preach on every wiki of the garden; 2:17 but of Community Central you shall not preach, for in the day that you preach on it you shall be banned from chat." 2:18 Then the LORD Kenny said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner." 2:19 So out of the ground the LORD Kenny formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 2:20 The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field, and to every boat; but for the man there was not found a helper as his partner. 2:21 So the LORD Kenny caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 2:22 And the rib that the LORD Kenny had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 2:23 Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken." 2:24 Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh, in the name of Kenny almighty. 2:25 And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed, because the Lord Kenny was already groping their genitals. And Kenny saw that it was fucking brilliant.